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Fat? Not AT ALL! Part 2.. (you can read Part 1 here)
Ladies!! We need to STOP the insanity. In my last Body Image Blog I showed you photos of when I thought I was fat and clearly I wasn’t in ANY of those photos. How about these RAD Show photos, am I fat in any of these?
The answer is HELL NO I wasn’t fat in any of these either. Back then I had poor body image and I truly thought I had weight to lose in each and every one of those photos. This is why I’ve shown you these photos because I’m pretty sure that most of you are beautiful right now with the size you are. And instead of learning to love yourself for you, your mind, soul, heart the person you are and not the size you are, you are instead torturing yourself with some kind of absurd standard. You are allowing society to tell you what size you should be, instead of learning to love yourself and your body and telling society to fuck off.
We NEED TO STOP THE INSANITY. Seriously girls we are wasting precious time in our lives by thinking we are fat when we clearly AREN’T. We obsess, we are CONSTANLTY on some kind of diet, we over exercise, we surf the web for everything fitness and weight loss, we kill ourselves trying to lose those last 5 or 10 pounds…come on really what the hell are we doing to ourselves, life is precious and this is NO way to live life. We compare our bodies to our friends, family, strangers. We don’t attend a party or meet up with friends because we think we are fat and don’t want them to see us if it’s been awhile, or we don’t go because we can’t find an outfit to hide how fat we think we are or we go and the whole time we are there we are judging ourselves, being uncomfortable and missing out on truly having a good time.
When I weighed 125 I beat myself up that I wasn’t 120. When I was 135 I beat myself up that I wasn’t back to 125. When I was 150 I thought you know what I need to be is 135 if I get back to that I will be happy…that was not only insanity it was ridiculous. I was perfectly healthy at all those weights and I was perfectly healthy at 160 and 170. I know this now because now I have a positive body image. Currently I weigh over 200 pounds, (not sure exactly because I don’t obsess with the numbers anymore!!) and I love me! I am comfortable in my skin because I’ve learned over MANY MANY years to have a positive body image. Size and weight are just a number, not something that has power over me and controls my life.
Two very important things, I NO longer judge me for my size and other people’s views on my size NO LONGER defines me or bothers me, remember it’s their problem if they don’t like your size, quit making other people’s problems with your size your problem. Love you for you, and if there is truly a weight issue you will resolve it on YOUR terms or not, it’s up to you. I know this journey takes a while, it took me a VERY long time to get to this point.. but I am trying to save you from all the time I wasted.
Remember when you place too much value on people liking the way you look, than that means when they don’t like the way you look it will bother you. Why do you want to give other people so much power over you? Take your power back.
Do you really want to be in your 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and beyond still worrying about your weight and size, still defining yourself by what you look like as opposed to the person you are? Of course you don’t, dear god that would be exhausting. Each time we obsess about our size or weight time is lost, time you will never get back. Wouldn’t you rather spend some of your time learning to love yourself and have positive body image? Of course you would.
The time you have been spending freaking out, crying, feeling awful, hiding, trying the latest diet and workout program spend that time instead on learning how to have positive body image. That comes FIRST. Once you accomplish a healthy view of yourself, then reevaluate your HEALTH, NOT your weight or size your HEALTH. Maybe you just don’t feel as strong as you used to, maybe you get winded walking or jogging, maybe you have aches and pains, maybe you don’t have any energy. Maybe your soul feels like it needs some nurturing. These are all healthy beautiful things to work on that are not based on how you look or what size you are and the intention isn’t to be a certain number when it comes to weight and size, it’s to be stronger, less winded, no aches or pains, to have more energy and to feed your soul with positivity.
I get it, society puts so much value on what size a women’s body is, but that doesn’t mean you have to be a prisoner of society’s stupid views on OUR bodies. You are not amazing because you have a good body, society would disagree but we have already established that society is stupid. You are amazing because of your character, because of your personality, because of the amazing talents you have that help this world to be a better place. It’s the person you are that makes you amazing not the size of your body.
I know you would rather get to living your life instead of being held captive with poor body image issues, you can conquer this I know you can! Here are a few book suggestions that may help you along the way…
Beautiful You: A Daily Guide to Radical Self-Acceptance by Rosie Molinary
embody: Learning to Love Your Unique Body (and quiet that critical voice!) by Connie Sobczak
Body of Truth: How Science, History, and Culture Drive Our Obsession with Weight--and What We Can Do about It by Harriet Brown
I wish you love, peace and patience as you journey your way to a healthy body image! XOXO
Fat? Not AT ALL!
Earlier this week we started discussing body image. We had a listener who wrote in who is very unhappy with her body and she is bulimic. As long time listeners know, I too was bulimic. While I haven’t purged in years, I am still on the journey to have a healthy relationship with food. One of the first things my therapist and I worked on was me learning to love and accept the body I have right now. Since I had already been on the LONG journey to love the person I am and to have self acceptance, I needed to connect those things with how I also looked at my body.
When you have poor body image issues the body you see in the mirror does not reflect the body actually there. The following photos demonstrate this, I truly thought I was a fat cow in each and every one of these photos and was not comfortable in my body at all. A lot of the listeners also thought I was fat in each and every one of these photos, that was only validation for me cause I felt the same way.
(CLICK ON THE PHOTO GALLERY BELOW TO VIEW THE CAPTIONS FOR EACH PHOTO)
Eating disorders and the way they mess with our minds, our bodies and our souls is no joke. It consumes our thoughts daily, shit every minute of every day. It feels like a prison we can’t escape. We want to but it’s become a part of us, of who we are, it’s become normal. We know deep down inside of us we should cut this eating disorder loose, but it becomes more scary not to have it then to let it rob us of our life. I remember all those feelings. Shit I still have them now at times.
Even though I still have a ways to go in learning how to have a healthy balanced relationship with food. I am here to tell you, that it is possible to love the body you have right now. That your body does not define you. Your body isn’t your character and the amazing person you are. That you can actually look at the world and laugh at how ridiculous the world is when it comes to its expectations of how a woman should look. One of THE MOST freeing things for me in this journey has been that I truly give 2 shits how someone else sees my body, that’s their problem, I no longer make it mine!
The other MOST freeing thing is actually feeling comfortable with my body size for the FIRST time in my life. Yet I’m bigger than I’ve ever been. For me personally it’s been a life changer. I finally understand what my therapist means when she says, “it’s time for you to start reconnecting with your body and it will tell you how much food you need, it instinctively already knows.” From what I have learned THE LAST THING someone who has had an eating disorder needs is another diet. You may have such a severe eating disorder that your body needs certain vitamins or minerals and food. The diet industry is not our friend.
It’s time to make peace with yourself, mind body and soul. Here are a few book suggestions to help you on your journey. I hope one or more speak to you.
Intuitive Eating
Body Kindness: Transform Your Health from the Inside Out--and Never Say Diet Again
Health At Every Size: The Surprising Truth About Your Weight
Life Without Ed: How One Woman Declared Independence from Her Eating Disorder and How You Can Too
Here is the website to National Eating Disorders Association, you may also find this helpful https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/
I wish you love, peace and patience as you go down your journey of freeing yourself from disordered eating. xoxo
In this photo I was in Seattle for vacation, I felt guilty I had eaten ½ a burrito and some chips and salsa, yes I remember that, I remember how fat I felt and how annoyed I was that my photo was being taken cause I just ate and my stomach was huge. When I look at this photo now, I do not see a fat girl at all, not even close.
At a charity golf tournament, I would only allow myself to snack on some popcorn. The person next to me was passing me a cheese puff and I’m like I can’t eat that I’m on a diet. I remember thinking “great they are taking my photo next to this girl who has way better arms than I do, what was I thinking wearing a short sleeve shirt, my arms are too fat for this shirt.” Now when I look at this photo, my arms are awesome and I am nowhere near fat.
Yep as I look at this photo now, I am NOT fat at all. But man I know exactly what I was saying in my mind when this was taken “ fuck why do we have to post these fucking photos of ourselves on our website every fucking day, I am fat who wants to see that , I know I don’t.”
This is one of my fav’s now..why? because I seriously thought I was SO fat here, that I hid behind the chair to hide a bit of myself. And there is NOTHING fat about me here. NOTHING. I remember thinking “okay I’ll hide my other fat leg and hold my arm up a bit that’s holding the bag and maybe that will help hide me so when this photo is posted maybe I won’t look so fat.”
Oh I really hated taking this photo. Oh my god I’m like “seriously I have to stand next to Producer Cristi so everyone can see how huge I am next to her.” When this photo was posted that’s exactly what a lot of listeners said, man Cristi is hot and damn Dawn is fat. Hey I agreed with you back then. Now as I look at me in this photo I know better, I wasn’t fat at all.
Fat? Ummmmm NOPE! I also hated taking this photo, I thought ‘hey if I position my arm in front of me I can hide my huge fat stomach.’ Now when I look at it I’m like what stomach? I had a flat stomach!!